Nicknames
by Simahoyo
Summary: We all know that Jane has a habit of giving everyone and anyone nicknames. We know the Sperm donor, Helicopter mom, and Googlemouth. Dennis seems to be made for nicknames. Jane just can't seem to help herself.


**Nicknames**

**By Simahoyo**

**We all know that Jane has a habit of giving everyone and anyone nicknames.** **We know the Sperm donor, Helicopter mom, and Googlemouth. Dennis seems to be made for nicknames.**

**Jane just can't seem to help herself.**

Jane had finally given up on silly nicknames for Dennis. No more, "How's the dead guy?" or "Zombie man". It was the look in Maura's eyes that made her back off. She was beginning to see that Maura was fairly serious about this one. She just hoped Maura would not discover that she had talked Gabriel into running a check on, "Erection Man."

She was sitting alone in the coffee shop. Angela was waiting on a group of loud teens who came to watch a trial for their high school class. Jane was reading the sports page when someone sat down next to her. Looking up, she saw Dennis, half smiling, and half nervous. Uh oh. Jane knew that look. She had seen it on Frankie's face often enough. _Crap_. She did not want a heart to heart about Maura–behind her back no less.

"Hi Jane. Uh, how are you?'

"The Sox are down again."

He rocked a tiny bit in his chair. Nerves–obviously. "Say, Maura and I have been seeing each other for, uh, several months, and I met her mother, and now she wants me to meet her father."

_Oh Hell no. This poor guy was going to be compared to St. Daddy Perfect. No man could survive that_. Jane gave him a sympathetic smile. "I'm sorry, Dennis."

Dennis looked confused. "Why are you sorry? Is he a real bear or what?"

Jane sat back, trying to put the warning into words without making things sound weird. "It's just... Well, have you ever heard her talk about him?"

Dennis smiled and nodded. "Often. She has a high opinion of him."

"Uh, you got that right. See, she's got a _very_ high opinion of him. _ h_.. .She's convinced he's perfect and expects to,'Find a man just like him.' So, do you get what you're up against?"

Dennis paled. He was no dummy. Jane liked the guy. But Maura was so unrealistic about her expectations in a life partner it made Jane's teeth hurt.

"My God. I was nervous about her mother, but she turned out to be funny and sharp, just like Maura. Now what do I do?"

Jane tapped her fingers in thought. "He's a great guy, once you get past his protective stuff. That's the first hurdle. If he puts you on his Shark list, forget it."

Dennis' eyes widened. "Shark list?"

"He started it years ago. It's a list of all her boyfriends–now men friends, that he doesn't trust. He says he stopped doing it, but I saw him with it last year. My brother's name was on it."

Dennis clenched his fists. "Oh God. I am so dead."

Jane smiled. "Yeah, but you are Resurrection Man. You'll survive. Are you–never mind, none of my business."

Dennis looked Jane right in the eye. "I'm thinking about it. She's a very special woman."

"You got that right. Dennis, I hope you can get through this. Never tell her this, but I secretly call him, 'St. Daddy'."

Dennis quirked his lips. "Hell. I had no idea. Cross your fingers for me?"

"Oh yeah. Good luck." As Dennis left, Jane found herself mumbling, "You're gonna need it."

Jane loved Maura along with all her quirks and obsessions. Jane had enough to spare too, so she figured they were fairly even. The other parallel was that both had idealized their fathers. Jane had a rough wake up call, and was bitter about her father's fall from grace. Maura's dad seemed to survive everything with the odor of sanctity still clinging to him. Besides, compared with Paddy Doyle...Jane shrugged. It was too bad that Dennis was such a great guy. Jane actually approved of him–sort of.

Another shadow fell across her newspaper. Jane frowned, expecting Dennis was back. She looked up and found Gabriel instead. Way better.

"Hi there. Bad day?"

Jane couldn't help grinning at him. "Until now. How did you get away?"

"I worked all night. Thought I'd come and see you."

"Aww, that's sweet. You prefer me over sleeping."

He flicked that joking little eye thing at her, then took her hand. "Or something like that."

Jane found herself warming in a blush. This was fun. Maybe Dennis would survive Maura's perfect father, and they could be old married couples together. If Gabriel didn't want to move them to Quantico, that is. The really cool part was that the two men actually liked and respected each other.

"Hi you two. Have I told you how sweet you look together?", Angela was standing over them.

"Only a million times." said Jane.

"Hi Angela how are you today?"

"Now see, he knows how to treat a mother. He even cares how I am. Why can't you do that?" Angela prodded Jane with her pencil. "Are you going to order anything?"

"Only if you don't bug us about getting married or giving you grandchildren"

"But—I really look forward..." Both looked at her with a warning on their faces. Angela's shoulders slumped. "Okay. What do you want?"

They ordered coffee and Jane added a cookie she knew they would share. When Angela left, Gabriel ran his thumb around Jane's ring finger. "You mother has a point, you know.", as Gabriel quirked a half smile her way. "I know. But I want things just between us for a while. I never got any privacy as a kid..." Angela arrived with their coffees and cookie, which Jane broke in half and handed half to Gabriel. Just as she opened her mouth to bite down, Maura appeared.

"Hi. That's got a lot of sugar in it, Jane." Maura sat with them, swinging her leg. She wanted to talk about something. Jane waited. Maura stopped the swinging. "Have you seen Dennis?"

"Yup, about ten minutes ago. Are you looking for him?"

Maura frowned, then opened her mouth, she glanced at Gabriel. That meant she wanted to talk to Jane alone, and Gabriel knew it. But Jane could also see he wanted to stay. She gave him a tiny nod, and then looked at Maura.

"So, what's up?"

Maura hesitated a second, then blurted out, "I want him to meet Daddy."

Gabriel tried to hide the worry in his eyes. Everyone but Maura knew what a problem this would be. Jane carefully replied, "Okay. And?"

"You know I really like Dennis, and I hope..." here Maura clasped her hands. Jane's heart sunk. "I hope he's just like Dad."

"You know, Maur', you told me they broke the mold when they made your dad, so, you won't find anyone just like him, right?"

"I know, but as close to him as I can find would be nice."

"I hope you don't take this the wrong way..." Jane started. Gabriel squeezed Jane's hand and raised his eyebrow. "But if you have found a nice man who isn't a murderer, fugitive, con man or in love with himself .." Here Maura gave Jane a warning look.

"Are you saying I make bad choices?" Her voice held a further warning.

Jane knew angry Maura. She didn't like angry Maura. "No. You ended things with all of those men. I think Dennis is a good guy, and I hope you don't toss him because he's not perfect. Hell, I'm not perfect and we're still friends–I hope."

Maura hesitated. Jane could see she was deciding if she was going to let herself be offended or not. Finally she smiled. "I guess I've had some bad luck with men. So, I believe I could give Dennis some slack, as you like to call it."

Both Gabriel and Jane breathed again. Maura shot them a, "I noticed that." look, then smiled. "You both like him."

Both nodded. "He's a good guy. He's squeaky clean.", added Gabriel. Jane's heart sank.

"You checked him out? I can't believe...don't you know I'm perfectly capable of doing that myself? You're worse than Jane used to be. I know you were just trying to help. Just don't do it again."

Jane knew the sparks Maura had given off were mild, so she wasn't really that angry. God help her, on the other hand, if Maura put it together that Jane had asked him to check on Dennis.

Gabriel sat back, looking at Maura. He was still trying to figure her out. Jane knew he was pretty astute, but Maura was no easy study. Finally he dipped his head, "Yeah, I was out of line, but it's like second nature for us '_Ef Be Eye's_'",using the Navaho nickname he had learned from a former partner. "We are just naturally snoopy."

Maura smiled at that one. "Like homicide detectives?".

_Hell, she knew_. Jane slumped down in her chair."Okay, lesson learned. Never try to get anything past you." Jane took a big bite of her cookie. Maura gave her that superior look, then added, "St. Daddy? Really Jane?"


End file.
